Sunday 19 September 2010

It's better to be sorry than safe.

Paulo Coelho said those lines in my title. owh btw, when driving it's a whole different story. hahaha

Anyways...

is it better to let things go even when it bothers you a lot or is better to actually confront the problem?

i think most people would say it is better to confront.

then is it better to confront it than to just let it go, even when you know if you went and confront it, it will only give you more pain?

most people would say no. kan? so did one of my best friend. she's the only one i consulted regarding the matter anyway. haha.

I've been told by F a dozen times, of how stubborn i am.. and I know how he hated that part of me. But, I am just one of those few people who would actually go and confront the problem even when I know the consequences would be nasty. Because I cant live with 1001 questions lingering in my head every second of my life.

Is it wrong to demand a person to at least respect you? Sure, it is his prerogative to ignore me, but it is also my right to know why, isn't it? is it? no? yes?

I wont judge him bcoz, one-i don't really know him.. and two- as i had said earlier, it is his right. But i still want to exercise my rights to ask why.

Btw, to all men out there who happens to read this.. remember this:

For a woman, it is better to be rejected than to be ignored. When you tell her the truth, and reject her politely, sure she will hurt.. a lot. But she'll get over it, and at least she knows that she didn't made a mistake of liking an asshole. If you ignored her, it is like.. stomping all over her pride, her intelligence, her dignity. It only proves that you are a jerk and it will make the whole thing worst when she realizes it, because no one wants to be in love with a jerk. And no one wants to be left hanging, especially when you did flirted with her and gave her the wrong idea in the first place.

Sadly, most men are stupid enough to think that they are doing us girls a favor by ignoring us. *sigh*

and owh! I HOPE MANCHESTER UNITED SCREW THE REDS TONIGHT! actually, am pretty sure Liverpool will lose. muahahahaha.

[and yes once again i deleted a post i have written. so dun go looking for it, sudah dihapuskan. ngeh.]

Saturday 11 September 2010

Negativity is never good.

I am obese, and I am surrounded by pretty cousins.

I hate whiners. I wont whine much. It is my own fault that am fat.

Just saying, it kills me to snap pics happily, go back and look at it again.. only to realize that you are freaking ugly, compared to those around you.

Its no one's fault, just.. I do have an inferiority complex whenever am around my cousins, especially my mother's side. I don't give a damn even if some beauty queen is beside me, my self esteem stays intact,tho maybe it drops a lil bit.. but when its my cousins or friends of my cousins or bf or anyone who has anythg to do wif fam.. it just drops down to zero.

I think perhaps the reason being is my past. Because they know who and how i was in my past. Because being a psychology student, I know its not easy to change a person's first impression about you. And I know what kind of jerk I was back then. And so the main reason for the extreme inferiority whenever they are around is fear.. fear of not being accepted, because I want to be accepted. When its non family, who cares even if they choose to hate me. But rather than trying, I just choose to withdraw. Because its easier that way. *Okay, sila tumbuk saya sekarang, saya memang teruk.*

I am such a lost soul. I dont want to use my obesity as a demotivation, but thats exactly what's happening. *Sekali lagi, anda dibenarkan menumbuk dan menyepak saya sekarang.*