The first of many other ramblings.

Sickness gave us a chance to pause and think, if we know how to use that time given wisely.

I have a friend, that I truly adore. For his intellect, for his wise words, for his values. He used to have Facebook, and he would post a whole load of articles and videos relating to various world issues, and us being Muslims, most particularly things related to Palestine, Syria, Egypt and the likes of them. There would be only a few who would actually comment, or even bother to read the articles or watched the videos, and these few people were usually the same circle of people. I used to read them all, watch them all and enjoyed reading through the comments and feeding my brain with some intellectual discussions. I would share them, even when I know not many people would even bother to take a glimpse of it.

Post a video of a music video or people doing silly stuff, and you'll get dozens of  'likes'. Post a video of real world issues, no one bothers.

This friend no longer has Facebook, and after he deactivated his account there, I became one of those Facebookers I used to loath. His articles are no longer there to feed my brain, and I am too busy worrying about my life issues that I don't bother to look for them myself. Facebook started to become a place to let out my anger and frustration. I worry too much about money, about how I'm going to pay those bills, about the clothes that I will wear.. it has to be nice, for that guy that I wish so hard will just say a simple hi to me. I became the exact kind of person I wish I would never be. I became part of the world I loathe. And I throw it all out on the virtual wall.

I am ashamed of it all. I wish I can just delete every single one of them, but there are loads of them and going through them all would be a waste of time. It has been done, the words have been said, even if you take them back, what is done is done.

My point is, I am way too far, too lost from what I used to believe and fight for. I know this is insufficient perhaps compared to those that actually went to the land of the war and fight side by side with the locals, but words are all I have, words are the only way I know how to fight this fight.

As what the beloved friend of mine once said, the aim is to spread awareness. And that is exactly what I want to do with this blog. Spread awareness and kill the ignorance.

I hope I would actually do it and not let this be the first and the last. Hehe. Good luck to me! =D

In regards to Irshad Manji..

It would be great if we don't have to ban Irshad Manji's book for the sake of 'freedom' la konon, then these people won't have the right to say how we Muslims are all control freaks.. but this time around I agree, we should ban it. (After I buy it and have a read of it myself.Hehe.) 


Thing is, Malaysian Muslims, especially the young and ignorant ones.. are too easily strayed off; never ever underestimate the power of words. She has some points in what she's saying, but still most of it are too ridiculous. You should always question everything you came across, but in terms of religion, your questions should be aimed for you to get a better understanding, not to mock or reform it . 


I haven't actually read her books, but it seems like she's looking for a reformation in Islam, like she wants to change the religion to suit her, instead of the other way round. Do correct me if I am wrong.. 


There are some critical questions that she asks which bothers me a lot..  She has apparently question the validity of some Quranic verses, saying that it is confusing and contradicting, as well as saying that prayer's are ridiculous. But then I only read this in a newspaper clipping, never actually right from the book itself, and therefore it could have been altered. 

I am actually looking forward in getting the book, would help me thinking, and then perhaps challenge her ideologies as well if I do get the chance.. 

The Start of an Infatuation : Part 1.

As I look at you and your ever so shy smile,

The softness of your voice as you speak to me,

As the stolen gazes were thrown at my side,

The hidden but ever so peculiar repartee.

My mind can be very quaint and whimsical,

The desires of my heart at times overwhelming,

My beating heart though crushed starts to twinkle,

The rationale of my mind then forces itself as affirming.

Perkasa, seriously. Just shut up.

Seriously, seriously?? Argh you idiots. Stay out of it, it’s just a matter of bad service, it has nothing to do with racial issue. But if you do get involved, it will be. Can’t you see that? Arghh I’m so frustrated. 


I think the main person to blame is the manager. Where was he? How come he was not controlling the situation? If there were not enough chickens, why can’t he inform the customers beforehand?


And as for Perkasa’s comments.. Yes, we should here their side of the story as well. But not through you. Definitely not through you guys. And yes, the staffs are tired. Yes, perhaps they are frustrated too with everyone shouting and being angry at them for the slow service and lack of food. Yes as a human, they have the right to be frustrated and angry as well, it comes naturally. But they are in the service business, they should know that things like being scolded by customers will happen at some point in their working life. And they definitely have absolutely no right to punch and hit a customer just because the customer is complaining about the bad service. That is something that even a 5 year old knows. 
As for the customer, perhaps he could have said it a tiny bit nicer than that, leave out the shouting part at least. But then again, saw the video.. I don’t think I heard him saying any bad words. It was just that he was saying it in a very high pitch voice. Which is quite acceptable since he is angry. And I think it would also be acceptable for the staffs to be annoyed as well, but definitely not up to the point of attacking the customer. Again, it is the manager’s fault for not controlling the situation at all. If I were KFC’s management, the manager would be fired first, no doubt. 


Perkasa, DAP.. you guys should get the hell out of the issue la. Please laa. The victim himself has already make it a point that it has nothing to do with racial issue, it’s just a matter of bad service, so just why do you still feel the need to get involve?? 


To be fair though, perhaps the victim shouldn't have made it public in the first place. But I do understand that perhaps he thinks it would serve as a lesson to the hospitality/service industry in Malaysia.

Have you heard of Epik High?

I am sure most of you haven't. Korean artists and bands are all the raves now, but they are mainly popular because of their cuteness, and Epik High doesn't emphasize that at all.

Tablo and Mithra Jin and DJ Tukutz's words are reflections of my thoughts, and people similar to us I guess.. they wrote things that are always on our minds but none of us can express in words.. and listening to their brilliant music, their intelligent lyrics.. is a bliss to my ears and my brain.

It is such a shame that they are so relatively underrated, compared to the likes of Super Junior or DBSK [which i happened to like as well. hehe] . As the world becomes more and more ridiculous, its great to know that they are people who thinks the same way, and they are people who loves this group as much as I do.

Epik High, I adore them.

So, i am lost. random rambling.

Wake up. Do things. Work. Eat. Survive. 

This is us. Is it satisfying to do this every day? Is this enough? Its not like we don't know.. but they...

They wake up. They fight. They struggle. They starve. Today, they might have survived. Tomorrow, they may not.

I want to jump into their arms, I want to held them and tell them I'm sorry. Sorry that I am here, living every freaking day with relatively minimal problems, and yet I whined, and do nothing for them. I feel their pain, and yet I sit here and stay motionless. I hear their cries, but I am helpless. 

Why am I here, if I can do nothing for them? Why am I here, if my actions doesn't reach them? Why am I here, if my words doesn't change anything for them? Why am I here? 

I am stagnant, I am helpless, I am lost. 

The no 1 thing I would make sure my children do

..apart from submitting themselves to Allah of course..

I will make sure they learn how to make a decision and think of their life choices at an early age, and feel good about it instead of feeling like it is something forceful.

I never had that. I ran away every time, and my parents were forced to decide for me. The psych degree was my choice, but that was about it. So when I have a child of my own, InsyaALlah.. I'll guide them to it, and hopefully when they are as old as I am right now, they already have a solid idea in their mind of what they want to achieve and who they want to be.

As for me right now.. I am as lost as a 2 year old child. I salute most of my friends who knows what they want, and are already on the way to fulfill their destiny.